Here’s what I have for you today:

A limited-time discount on Murder Feels Bad…

AND an exclusive FREE BONUS BOOK

But only for a few days…

TWO BILL ALIVE BOOKS for $9.98 Only $2.99 altogether!

Over 70% off!
But only until Saturday night...

Get caught up on Mark and Pete’s adventures before MURDER FEELS CRAZY comes out next month!

Hi! Thank you so much for reading Murder Feels Awful, Book One in my hilarious new Empath Detective Mystery Series. I’m so glad you enjoyed this first adventure of Mark the Empath Detective and his trusty (goofball) sidekick Pete.

But what if you still haven’t gotten to Book Two?

What are you missing out on if you miss Murder Feels Bad?

Honestly, I feel kind of awkward trying to pitch my own books. 😊 But some of these reviews are pretty amazing…

"I love this series, the main characters are all so great how they interact...I couldn't stop laughing..."

"It is always so exciting when a top notch first mystery is followed by one which is even better...."

"The narrator, Pete, is hilarious. He is a perfect foil for Mark (the empath). In this book their relationship continues to develop... These books just keep getting better..."

"A murder mystery with heart, suspense and humor. I'm very much looking forward to the next one from this author...."

Wow. Like I said in a recent email… authors read this kind of praise with relief and bewilderment… and serious gratitude.

Still Resisting?

Are you still hesitating? Three bucks is still three bucks, right?

No problem. Let’s make this even easier.

I’ve got a surprise new release that just went live on Amazon for five dollars… and you can have it totally FREE…

No, it’s not a mystery, or even a novel… but I think you’ll really love it…

"Murder Feels Bad is the second book that I have read by this author and I can't wait to read any books Bill Alive writes...."

Claim Your BONUS!

(FREE until Sat night!)

So, the big reveal: I also write funny children’s books.

I’ve published for children before, but only yesterday, I quietly released my first kids’ book ever…

I know this might seem like a weird tangent for a mystery writer. But who doesn’t love children’s books?

I’ve secretly fallen in love with writing the kinds of kids’ stories that first inspired me to write.

And sometimes a guy just wants to relax and make you laugh, without all the dead bodies. 😉

Besides, there’s a really good chance you’ve got kids in your life. Could be your own kids, or grandkids, or nieces and nephews, or students, who knows…

And I love making kids’ books that are fun for both the kid and the grownup reading it.

Here’s the book description…

Rocks are very smart. What if you could learn their secrets?

Rocks live for thousands, even millions of years. That’s a lot of time to get smart. If you know how to talk to a rock, you’ll learn more in one hour than you’ll ever learn in school.

This splendidly illustrated how-to book for kids shares some of the key secrets you’ll need to make friends with your very first rock, including:

• What to NEVER DO when first meeting a rock.

• The BEST activity you can do together with a new rock.

• What makes rocks FEEL REALLY BAD.

• How long you might have to wait before your first rock starts talking to you.

• And much more!

Don’t miss this very UNIQUE guide to meeting your first rock!

Question and Answer

Question: Wait, is this book for real? Will my child actually learn how to talk with a rock?

Answer: Well… read it and see what you think. 😄

It might be your child’s perfect, cheerfully funny introduction to the world of self-help books…

So, yeah. How to Talk to a Rock is a bit… unique. In a very good way.

And working with my illustrator was so much fun. As you can see, his illustrations are both super cute and super funny.

Plus, we worked hard to make sure the book would be easy to read as an electronic book.

We’ll also be releasing a print paperback version in a few weeks, of course. I’ll let you know when that’s available.

How to Talk to a Rock just launched at $4.99. But for this special Murder Feels Bad promotion, you can have this brand new funny kids' ebook FREE.

WOW! HOW DO I QUALIFY FOR THIS FREE EBOOK?

To claim your free copy, you only need to have done ONE of the following:

• You bought Murder Feels Bad before this promotion, any time in the past.
• Or you bought Murder Feels Bad during this promotion, by Saturday night.

That’s it! Super easy!

TWO BILL ALIVE BOOKS for $9.98 Only $2.99!

DO I HAVE TO FORWARD YOU MY RECEIPT?

No, you don’t! It’s much easier to trust you. ❤️

Here’s all you have to do to get these books:

1. If you haven’t yet bought Murder Feels Bad, go buy Murder Feels Bad before the end of Saturday, Sep 30.

2. Then click this big orange button to go claim your free book. All you’ll have to do is enter your email to confirm.

3. Read and enjoy your two new books!!

4. Optional: CLICK HERE to leave an Amazon review (and/or a Goodreads review) and help other parents and grandparents find this fabulous new book for their kids. (Plus make me super happy… 🏆 ❤️ 👏)

5. Optional: and tell a friend about this fantastic promotion before it ends on Saturday…

That’s it! Thank you!! HAPPY READING!!

P.S. QUESTIONS…

You’re still here? 😄 If you’ve bought Murder Feels Bad and claimed your bonus How to Talk to a Rock, you can totally leave this page and go read your new books.

But in case you still have more questions…

WHAT IF I ALREADY READ MURDER FEELS BAD AS A FREE ARC COPY AND LEFT A REVIEW?

So, I do my free review copies with a special Elite ARC Team. I have limited slots I can track, so readers apply to get accepted.

If you were:

• Already accepted to my Elite ARC Team
• AND you actually left a review for Murder Feels Bad
• Then yes, you can claim an ARC copy of How to Talk to a Rock.

Please do consider it an ARC copy and leave a review for this new book, especially on Amazon or Goodreads.

IMPORTANT: To claim your REVIEW copy, do NOT use the orange buttons above. Instead, please go to this SPECIAL link for reviewers:

Elite ARC Team Only: CLICK HERE to claim your REVIEW COPY of How to Talk to a Rock

I CAN’T AFFORD TO BUY BOOKS, SO CAN I JOIN YOUR ARC TEAM AND GET FREE REVIEW COPIES?

First off, I am truly sorry to hear that money is so tight for you. I often get letters from readers who rely totally on Social Security, sometimes also raising their grandkids, and I know this is a very hard burden.

Unfortunately, right now I am too swamped to open another round of applications for my ARC team. I’ve got this promotion to run, and I’m launching Murder Feels Crazy next month.

Depending on how I manage everything else with this launch, I may have time in the next few weeks to accept another round of applications for ARC reviewers to review Murder Feels Crazy. But I might not – I already have a solid team of reviewers, and there’s a LOT to do for this launch.

So if you truly can’t afford this promotion, but you’d like to read the books, please stay on my email list, and keep an eye out for my next ARC application. Thank you!

WHAT IF I CAN’T OR WON’T BUY BOOKS ON AMAZON? WHAT ABOUT ME??

Ugh, I know. Sorry about that.

It’s actually a LOT of extra work to get your books on other sites besides Amazon. Also, you miss out on all the readers who only read Kindle Unlimited. So I’ve been procrastinating. 😊

But: good news. With the Murder Feels Crazy launch, I intend to finally try putting my books on the other book platforms.

So although you’re missing out on this promo, you can look forward to my books being available in the next month or two. Thank you for your patience!

I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION!

No problem! If you have a question I didn’t answer on this epic page, please leave a comment below. I’ll be sure to reply super quick.