Writing funny mysteries (and more!) for you.

Bill Alive
Bill Alive
Writer. Thinker. Goofball.
Mar 24, 2020 3 min read

Want a free funny fantasy story? Plus a pretty flower, even.

Hey! It’s Bill Alive, your Friendly Neighborhood Reclusive Comedy Mystery Writer. I have a sweet free story for you below, but first… How are you holding up?

Hey! It’s Bill Alive, your Friendly Neighborhood Reclusive Comedy Mystery Writer.

I have a sweet free story for you below, but first…

How are you holding up?

My family and I are quite blessed; we live out in the country, and so in some ways our shared life over these last few weeks has been surreal in its normality.

Yes, the kids (and my wife) are struggling with the whole solitary confinement “social distancing” thing. Their wall calendar reads like a sad love letter to a bustling life of nonstop connection that is suddenly, indefinitely, forbidden.

Myself, I’m bemused and a bit troubled at how few things I’ve canceled myself. If your social life doesn’t take that severe a hit from a global pandemic, perhaps you’re taking the “introvert writer” path a bit too far…

Somehow, it’s still spring…

Meanwhile, spring here in Virginia has been almost ironically gorgeous.

That’s an almond tree. In our backyard.

I don’t think I ever told you this, but I’m a huge fan of fruit and nut trees. Several years back, we planted a mini “food forest” in our yard.

Unfortunately, between my ignorance and our hilariously poor clay soil (apparently some of the oldest and most run-down on this planet… a minor detail we neglected to discover until long after we’d moved in), the only “harvest” we really get most years is blossoms.

But for a week or two, those blossoms are sheer magic.

Can you write in quarantine? Oddly, yes…

Speaking of magic, or at least, psychic powers (they’re quite different), I’m still plodding away at Summer’s next adventure in my Wonder Springs cozy series: Murder in a Psychic Prison.

I wish I could release that for you right now, while we’re all taking a Global Time Out to catch up on our reading.

Ironically, I do have a bunch of short stories that I am just about ready to release.

The problem is that they’re science fiction and they’re super serious. They’re great (of course!) but maybe not quite suited to the mood of the moment.

(Although if you are hankering for riveting new tales of personal triumph amid disasters of tech and magic, let me know. I’ll be looking for ARC readers soon.)

For now, I’d love to make you laugh. If I can.

And I’ve been super inspired by all the artists who are giving away and sharing their work right now. It’s the least we can do, as the doctors and nurses and EMTs are out in the fight.

So as a gift to you, I’ve just published one of my weird, funny little stories on my website.

Get your free funny story!

It’s a parody fantasy, whimsical and ridiculous… but it also might give you a rare glimpse into what it feels like to be a writer.

Click here to read my free funny story.

It’s very short. Seriously, just click over and read it now.

And if it brightens your day, please send me a quick email!

I’ve got plenty more short, funny pieces where that came from, and I’d love to start sharing them if enough people let me know. I just need a few encouraging notes.

Plus, I’d love to hear how you’re doing.

Stay safe, and talk soon.

[Bill Alive]

Bill Alive

P.S. You can read my funny parody short story right now, for FREE! It’s super short; you don’t even have to download anything. Just click here and read. Enjoy!