NOTE: Alas, this promotion has ended! But I’ll have more in the future, I promise.

It’s Bill Alive, and I’ve got a quick free gift that you might enjoy.

Two, actually.

If you:

• Like cozy mysteries
• And (optionally) like trying out new author newsletters

… you may want to click over to this promotion:

Click here to get your Free Cozy Mysteries.

Interested? Do it now. This giveaway **ends **soon, on September 19.

While you’re there, get your free copy of my own funny cozy, Murder Feels Awful:

You’ll have to pick out the cover in the sea of free books. :)

FREE COZIES! WOW! THANKS, RANDOM EMAIL GUY!

You are most welcome.

WAIT… WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?

Just one of the many authors whose newsletters you signed up for years ago… who then proceeded to go radio silent for months on end.. until they cheerfully showed up again in your inbox, smiles wide, as if nothing had happened.

OH! DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?

Nonsense! Most uneventful year or two ever.

GLAD TO HEAR IT.

Indeed. How about you?

I’M FINE! I GUESS… HONESTLY, AS A STAND-IN CHARACTER FOR ALL POSSIBLE READERS OF THIS NEWSLETTER, I FEEL A BIT AWKWARD MAKING A GENERAL PRONOUNCEMENT.

Good point.

AND WHY DO I HAVE TO TALK IN ALL CAPS?

Sorry about that. It’s just a convention, so we can tell who’s talking. My typographic options are limited here. 

I FEEL LIKE I’M ALWAYS SHOUTING!

No, no. You’re fine.

REALLY?

Absolutely.

But if you, the actual reader of this newsletter, are so inclined, I’d love to hear how you’ve been and what you’ve been reading. For real. Just reply to this email and let me know.

WHAT ABOUT THE SECOND GIFT?

Oh, right! Well, before you go skipping away to download another virtual pile of tasty mysteries, let me ask you something…

WAIT! DON’T ASK WHETHER I’M ACTUALLY GOING TO READ THEM! HOW DARE YOU–

Relax! No judgment here! I of all people am the last to cast aspersions on the sheer joy of collecting. It was a dark day for my hard drives when I discovered Project Gutenberg.

No, my question is: wouldn’t you love a free, open source software tool to organize your lovely library?

Here’s the one I use: Calibre.

UPDATE: I have since discovered that Calibre may be less secure than it could be. Most ebooks are harmless, and I personally think Calibre is far safer than the entire Windows operating system, but if you are the kind of person who obsesses about security, you’ll want to peruse that link.

You can manage your entire collection from your main computer, then easily sync books to your phone, tablet, or ebook reader.

Click here to download this free tool to organize your ebook library.

And seriously, if you recognize my (increasingly dated) head shot below, I’d love to hear how you’re doing.

See you soon. Happy reading!

Bill Alive

P.S. Don’t forget your free cozies! Click right here: https://books.bookfunnel.com/cozies4all/f9ub2nimhh